Illustration by Lesley WimbushM
A good handjob does wonders
It's about washing your car....

By Russ Bond
Something a little different this week….for those new to collector or classic cars, uh, that would be me. So, I anteed up and got myself a bit of a classic British saloon car, and someone told me not to take it to the ‘car wash’.
What? How do I keep it clean.
Apparently, today’s technological wonders that are automatic or even self-serve car washes can be detrimental to the finish of a classic car – especially if it has the original paint. Why? They tell me it’s the pressure of the spray, but two car wash owners I know dispute that claim. Anyhow, now I have my pride and joy, what to do….hmmm.
Back in the day, we used to use this thing called a bucket. What happens is we used to fill it with soapy water – luke warm. After a little research, okay, I google’d it, I found out how to give a classic a proper hand wash (note to readers: don’t google ‘handjob’…google ‘hand wash cars’).
First you get out the hose and let it run for a minute to get that insane hot water out of the line. Then you position your classic in the shade (on the lawn is acceptable if you are single). Next you lightly spray the outside of your classic. Then you take the aforementioned bucket of luke warm water, pre-soak your soft cotton mit (that you got at Canadian Tire on sale no less) and you gently scrub the car in sections. Now, don’t do the whole car at once, because you don’t want the soap to dry on the car. Scrub and rinse, scrub and rinse until the whole car is done.

All shined up and ready for winter storage...

Tires and wheels should be done last, so grime from the wheels doesn’t make it onto the bodywork. Then a final rinse, and pre-soak the shamy. Starting from the top, dry off the car, but don’t use the shamy on the wheels or tires. Tires and wheels can be dried with a conventional towel that you can normally find by the shower in the bathroom (again if you are single).
Once you are done, you can simply head to the fridge, pop out a Corona – insert lime - and enjoy the rest of the day looking at that classic that is all yours.
I have just done this to my classic, and I must say that running my hands down the bonnet that houses the monster V12 is a feeling that I don’t get to often.
I know, I need help.